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Choice
Plan of Action
Personal Study
Therapy
Support Groups
Sports Programs
Behavior
Self-Perception
Gender Identity
Emotions
Relationships
Spirituality
Adversity

There Are Options

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If you want to overcome your problems with same-sex attraction (homosexuality), there is a way out. This section reviews the major areas you will need to address and provides practical help and resources.

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Choice, freedom, and responsibility

We all have the power to choose how we will respond to life's situations. Those choices have consequences and our lives are the net result of all those choices. This section discusses the freedom we have to choose and the relationship between responsibility, accountability, and authority.

Plan of action

If you want to resolve issues with same-sex attraction, you need to develop a personal action plan considering the specific things you need. The issues are complex and differ from person to person. Your success depends on creating and following a personal plan of action. Topics covered: making a self-inventory, considering emotional and spiritual aspects, keeping balance, setting boundaries, monitoring progress, being accountable, journaling, and considering who you should tell (spouse, parents, siblings, children, friends).

Personal study

There are many of good books that can help you understand your situation. It seems that those who have the most success in understanding their feelings and controlling their behavior are those who read the most. The more you study, the more you are exposed to ideas that may help.

Support groups

Support groups can help you by providing understanding and acceptance from others, and the encouragement to continue through the lengthy process. Topics covered: choosing a support group, joining a group, open and closed group formats, how to support each other in a group, confidentiality and anonymity, spirituality, safety, how to deal with sexual problems among group members, and how to find a support group.

Sports programs

A common type of experiential group is a sports program that teaches basic skills in a sport and provides opportunities to play the sport. Participants learn how to function on a team and have the chance to work through defensive detachment and face and resolve their fear of the sport.

Therapy

Therapy can help you clarify your identity and make life choices that are consistent with your personal values. Topics covered: modern therapeutic methods, gay-affirmative therapy, gender-affirmative therapy, choosing a therapist, the therapeutic process, what to do if therapy is not available to you, individual therapy, and group therapy.

Behavior

Although you have attractions to others of your gender, you can choose your behavior and set personal boundaries on your actions. You need to modify your habits and addictions because they can compromise your power to choose. Topics covered: understanding your behavior, committing to change, habits, addictions, compulsions, personal boundaries, temptation, sin, suggestions for changing behavior patterns, setbacks, and specific suggestions regarding fantasy, pornography, masturbation, and homosexual behavior.

Self-Perception

We are greatly influenced by our perception of our self and the world around us. Since these perceptions govern how we feel about ourselves and, ultimately, how we act, it is critical that we see ourselves for who we really are. When we better understand ourselves and expand our self-image, we expand the possibilities. This section discusses the concept of paradigms, then gives suggestions on how to improve your self-image and your feelings of self-worth.

Gender identity

Many men and women who experience same-sex attraction feel inadequate in their masculinity and femininity. How you feel about yourself is crucial because these inner feelings of being incomplete or inadequate can be a breeding ground for same-sex attraction. Those who experience same-sex attraction commonly experience feelings of inadequacy in their masculinity or femininity. Topics covered: **

Emotions

We all have emotions, but few of us know what to do about them. If you want to overcome homosexual behavior and change your perception of yourself, what do you do with your emotions? Once we understand things intellectually, we need to accept them emotionally. We shouldn't be ruled by our emotions, but we also shouldn't deny they exist. Our emotional nature can become whole when we accept and understand our feelings, and deal with them in a healthy way.

Relationships

Same-sex attraction stems from relationship deficits and one of the keys to resolving it is to repair existing relationships and build new, healthy ones. Those who make the most progress in resolving their problems are those who build quality relationships with others of the same gender.

Spirituality

Many people who experience same-sex attraction are deeply spiritual. Satan recognizes this spiritual sensitivity and tries to use it against them. Tragically, their emotional needs are misdirected to same-sex feelings that divert them from developing higher levels of spirituality. Because the armies of hell are waging their final battle, we must be strong, have faith, and draw on the powers of heaven.

Adversity

Living a righteous life does not mean that bad things will not happen to you. A common misbelief is that if we strive with all our might to live good lives, nothing bad will happen to us. But the truth is, bad things may happen to the best of people. "The Savior may not take away our problems, and he certainly will not shield us from all pain, but he will provide us perspective and strength to bear up under them."

Testimonials

Many individuals have publicly recounted their experiences in overcoming the effects of same-sex attraction. For example:

bullet Jason Park is a married man who has resolved his same-sex attractions. He has shared his experience publicly on the People Can Change Website and has written three books on the subject, which have also been translated into Spanish.
bulletTy Mansfield co-authored a book about his same-gender attractions (see In Quiet Desperation: Understanding the Challenge of Same-Gender Attraction) and has been interviewed on radio and television.
bullet Dozens of personal experiences are documented on the testimonials page of the Evergreen International Web site.
bulletThe book A Place in the Kingdom: Spiritual Insights from Latter-day Saints about Same-Sex Attraction details a number of personal experiences.
bullet The People Can Change Web site documents a number of personal experiences.
bulletThe book Resolving Homosexual Problems has a number of personal experiences in the appendix.
bullet Many people blog about their life. See, for example, Faithful LDS SSA Ring, Keep Changing: A Gay Mormon Journey, Here's to HopeOf Loyal Mind, Changing Countenance, and Northern Lights.

 

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