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There
Are Options

If you want to overcome your problems with
same-sex attraction (homosexuality), there is a way out. This section reviews
the major areas you will need to address and provides practical help and
resources.

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© Philip Date - Fotolia.com
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Choice, freedom, and
responsibility
We all have the power
to choose how we will respond to life's situations. Those choices have
consequences and our lives are the net result of all those choices. This section
discusses the freedom we have to choose and the relationship between
responsibility, accountability, and authority.
Plan of action
If you want to resolve
issues with same-sex attraction, you need to develop a personal action plan
considering the specific things you need. The issues are complex and differ from
person to person. Your success depends on creating and following a personal plan
of action. Topics covered: making a self-inventory, considering emotional and
spiritual aspects, keeping balance, setting boundaries, monitoring progress,
being accountable, journaling, and considering who you should tell (spouse,
parents, siblings, children, friends).
Personal study
There are many of good books that can help you
understand your situation. It seems that those who have the most success in
understanding their feelings and controlling their behavior are those who read
the most. The more you study, the more you are exposed to ideas that may help.
Support groups
Support groups can
help you by providing understanding and acceptance from others, and the
encouragement to continue through the lengthy process. Topics covered: choosing
a support group, joining a group, open and closed group formats, how to support
each other in a group, confidentiality and anonymity, spirituality, safety, how
to deal with sexual problems among group members, and how to find a support
group.
Sports programs
A common type of experiential group is a sports
program that teaches basic skills in a sport and provides opportunities to play
the sport. Participants learn how to function on a team and have the chance to
work through defensive detachment and face and resolve their fear of the sport.
Therapy
Therapy can help you clarify your
identity and make life choices that are consistent with your personal values.
Topics covered: modern therapeutic methods, gay-affirmative therapy,
gender-affirmative therapy, choosing a therapist, the therapeutic process, what
to do if therapy is not available to you, individual therapy, and group therapy.
Behavior
Although you have
attractions to others of your gender, you can choose your behavior and set
personal boundaries on your actions. You need to modify your habits and
addictions because they can compromise your power to choose. Topics covered:
understanding your behavior, committing to change, habits, addictions,
compulsions, personal boundaries, temptation, sin, suggestions for changing
behavior patterns, setbacks, and specific suggestions regarding fantasy,
pornography, masturbation, and homosexual behavior.
Self-Perception
We are greatly
influenced by our perception of our self and the world around us. Since these
perceptions govern how we feel about ourselves and, ultimately, how we act, it
is critical that we see ourselves for who we really are. When we better
understand ourselves and expand our self-image, we expand the possibilities.
This section discusses the concept of paradigms, then gives suggestions on how
to improve your self-image and your feelings of self-worth.
Gender identity
Many men and women who
experience same-sex attraction feel inadequate in their masculinity and
femininity. How you feel about yourself is crucial because these inner feelings
of being incomplete or inadequate can be a breeding ground for same-sex
attraction. Those who experience same-sex attraction commonly experience
feelings of inadequacy in their masculinity or femininity. Topics covered: **
Emotions
We all have emotions,
but few of us know what to do about them. If you want to overcome homosexual
behavior and change your perception of yourself, what do you do with your
emotions? Once we understand things intellectually, we need to accept them
emotionally. We shouldn't be ruled by our emotions, but we also shouldn't deny
they exist. Our emotional nature can become whole when we accept and understand
our feelings, and deal with them in a healthy way.
Relationships
Same-sex attraction stems from relationship
deficits and one of the keys to resolving it is to repair existing relationships and build
new, healthy ones. Those who make the most progress in resolving their problems
are those who build quality relationships with others of the same gender.
Spirituality
Many people who experience same-sex attraction are deeply spiritual. Satan recognizes this spiritual sensitivity
and tries to use it against them. Tragically, their emotional needs are
misdirected to same-sex feelings that divert them from developing higher levels
of spirituality. Because the armies of hell are waging their final battle, we
must be strong, have faith, and draw on the powers of heaven.
Adversity
Living a righteous life does not mean that bad
things will not happen to you. A common misbelief is that if we strive with all
our might to live good lives, nothing bad will happen to us. But the truth is,
bad things may happen to the best of people. "The Savior may not take away our
problems, and he certainly will not shield us from all pain, but he will provide
us perspective and strength to bear up under them."
Testimonials
Many individuals have publicly recounted their experiences
in overcoming the effects of same-sex attraction. For example:
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